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11 Ways to Deal With a Difficult Spouse

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11 Ways to Deal With a Difficult Spouse

If you are ever unfortunate enough to find yourself in a partnership where you and your spouse get on each other’s nerves, it can make for an uneasy living. This article is about how to handle this situation.

What exactly do we mean by “hard-to-handle”? Well, if your spouse is constantly criticizing you and fighting over every little thing, they may be difficult to deal with. But despite what may seem like an insurmountable problem at first glance, there are ways that can help maintain the peace in the household through communication and understanding.

We feel this is important for people who care about their relationship or would like to keep theirs strong and healthy long into the future. So here are some ways to stay happy even when you and your spouse don’t always agree.

Confront the issues by discussing them

When you don’t feel like talking, try to force yourself into it because sometimes the fastest way to get a problem out in the open is by initiating a conversation. In most cases the other person may be in the same boat as you, meaning they’re not thrilled with this situation either. It will help both of you realize that this is an issue that needs to be confronted. Sometimes it’s hard to get the ball rolling, especially if you feel like a fight is imminent. But having an open discussion about the issue can help you see through the fog.

Don’t become defensive

During our conversation, it may seem like they are being difficult, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are. Sometimes a partner who regularly criticizes you for things that happen in the moment may be frustrated and looking to vent. If you always take their criticism as a personal attack then you will be too sensitive and this is exactly what you need to avoid. By listening to after-the-fact explanations, you can avoid becoming too defensive.

Make projects together

If working in a team is something that both you and your partner are comfortable doing, then teaming up on a project together can serve as the perfect outlet when feelings between the two of you are running high. This gives both of you a chance to bond while spending time with each other. And being around other people tends to lift your spirits and make you feel happier. This is because it helps break the tension between you and your partner.

Talk to your friends about it

If you’re kind of the introvert type, it may help to have some support elsewhere. You can talk to your friends about how you feel and they can lend a sympathetic ear. This will also help put things into perspective for both of you, so that you don’t become too angry and resentful. And having an outside source of support also makes it easier for the two of you to take a step back from the situation and restore some objectivity.

A friend can also help you understand where your partner is coming from. Because people try to rationalize all of their behaviors, but they tend to do it for themselves so it’s not something they will do deliberately.

It’s tough, and you may not want to tell other people about what has been going on with you and your partner. But not getting outside perspectives can add some pressure that makes your relationship problems seem worse than they are. So try keeping at least one person informed about the situation and just vent to them if you feel like expressing yourself.

Don’t take it personally

Regardless of how your partner may behave, try not to make any assumptions about their intentions. Don’t assume that it’s a personal attack just because they may be saying things in a no-nonsense way. It is also important that you avoid making similar remarks or you will just keep the cycle going. Remember, if you don’t learn to not take things personally, then there will be no way to resolve any issues.

Be mindful and stay calm

When you and your partner are experiencing relationship problems, it can sometimes make both of you lose your tempers easily and find fault with every little thing the other individual does. This can be so frustrating that it becomes too much to handle. So try being mindful of how you’re coming across to your partner. Just because someone is yelling at you doesn’t mean they are at fault. And if they are just as upset as you, then maybe it is something you could work on together.

Don’t play the blame game

When things start getting out of hand, you may be tempted to leap to the defense of your partner by accusing them of being difficult. This is natural and it can be a good instinct, but it’s important that you examine your motives. You may just want to feel better about yourself by taking the blame for their behavior. But this will only cause resentment, so try to avoid playing with these emotions.

Work on communication

The best way to deal with a difficult spouse is by working on your communication skills. This means not only talking to them about their habits, but also listening to them and being conscious about how you are coming across in what they are saying. If you learn to be more patient, the two of you can share a better understanding of each other. And the more you understand each other, the easier it will be to live together.

Acknowledge your feelings

It is also important that you let your partner know how they are making you feel. If you just let it slide, keeping it bottled up inside, the situation can snowball and cause problems for both of you. The only way that they will be able to understand is if you clearly explain to them how they upset or hurt you and what can be done to fix it in the future. By allowing yourself to become so wrapped up with your emotions and expressing them openly, things may start smoothing out in the future.

Work on yourself

One of the most important ways to deal with relationship problems is by working on yourself. This means practicing better self-control, exercising regularly, and taking care of your body. When you have a healthy body, it makes it easier for you to maintain a stable mindset. And if you are feeling good about yourself, then it will be easier to convince your partner that certain changes are necessary.

Don’t lose hope

If you and your spouse have been through a lot of arguments and they haven’t helped, then don’t lose hope just yet. You two may really love each other and want to maintain a peaceful home, so try to work together as a team to make this happen. This can take practice but if you are committed to making things work, then it should be possible if you both try hard.

At the end of the day, relationships are all about communication. The better you can communicate with one another, the smoother your relationship will run. This applies for both happy relationships and difficult ones.