We all have bad days, even if there is no apparent reason. There are many reasons for depression and unhappiness, such as a chemical imbalance, a stressful event, genetic vulnerability, and medicines we take. While we can’t control everything without professional help, we can certainly control the level of stress in our lives. And, sometimes we have to get rid of certain things in our lives to find peace.
1. Give up the need to be always right
Many people can not stand the idea of accepting their mistakes, and they always want to be right, even at the risk of concluding a beautiful relationship or causing much stress and pain to themselves and others. This is just not right.
Whenever you feel the “urgent” need to jump into a discussion about who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself the following question: “You prefer to be right or prefer to be a gentle person?” What do I gain from a verbal conflict, which makes my companion leaving the “scene” with a bitter taste and a feeling of disappointment?
2. Drop the need for controlling everything
Be willing to give up the need to always control everything that happens to you and those around you: situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are your loved ones, work colleagues or simply foreigners you meet on the street, just let them exist as they are. Allow all things and people to be exactly the way they are, and you’ll see how well you will feel.
“By letting things be, everything will flow smoothly,” Lao Tzu
3. Give up the blame
Give up your need to blame other people for what you have or not having, for what you feel or do not feel. Stop giving up your negative-impacting powers and begin to take responsibility for your life.
“The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.” Don Shula
4. Discard self-defeat
How many people hurt themselves because of their negative, polluted and self-defeating mentality? Do not believe everything your mind says, especially if it is something negative and it can self-destroy you. You’re better than that. “The mind is a great tool if it is used as it should. However, misused, it becomes very destructive.
“No other life-form on the planet knows negativity, only humans, just as no other life-form violates and poisons the Earth that sustains it.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
Give up your beliefs about what you can or can not do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you will no longer allow your limited beliefs to keep you captive. Just open your wings and start flying!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” Elly Roselle
6. Stop complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many things, people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressing. No one can make you unhappy; no situation can make you sad unless you allow it. Not the situation that triggers those feelings is to blame, but the way you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” Stephen Hawking
7. Discard the luxury of criticizing
Discard the need to criticize things, events or people that are different from you. We are all different, and yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved, and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is all we want.
“Everyone has their own different life experiences which make them who they are. No two people’s life experiences are the same. And mine are just unique to me.” Keshia Knight Pulliam
8. Discards the need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be someone you’re not just for others to like you. Things do not work that way. When you stop trying so hard to be something you are not, when you quit all your masks, when you accept it, you will discover that people feel attracted to you, without you making any effort.
“When you are authentic, you create a certain energy… people want to be around you because you are unique.” Andie MacDowell
9. Give up the idea of opposing change
The change is good. The change will help you move from A to B. Changing will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you. If you’re having a hard time letting go old things that you feel aren’t beneficial to you anymore, I suggest reading this wonderful book which will make you understand you need to start opening new doors:
“Follow happiness, and the Universe will open doors for you where there were no walls” Joseph Campbell.
10. Give up the labels
Stop tagging those people, things, and events that you do not understand because they’re strange and different, and try to open your mind, little by little. Minds work only when they are open.
“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you know nothing about” Wayne Dyer.
11. Give up your fears
Fear is just an illusion; it does not exist, you created it. Everything is in your mind. If you correct the interior, the exterior will be precisely as it should be.
Meditation exercises can help you relieve your fears. Focusing on the present, on this mere moment, being fully aware of what is all around you, you will be able to see your fears from a distance, and instead reacting to them or allow them to alter your life, you will just observe them, and just that.
Practicing this form of meditation for only a few minutes every day, will greatly improve the quality of your life.
“The only thing we need to fear is fear to itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt.
12. Give up to excuses
We often limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing up and working to improve our lives and spirit, we remain stuck in the same place for so long, lying to ourselves, using all sorts of excuses, excuses that in 99.9% of cases are just not real.
“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems – not people; to focus your energies on answers – not excuses.” William Arthur Ward
13. Give up the past
It is known to be hard… Especially when the past looks much better than the present and the future seems so scary, but you have to take into account that the present moment is everything you have and everything you will ever have.
The past you long after, the past you dream of, was ignored by you when it was present. Stop fooling yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. It is good to have a clear vision of the future, get ready for it, but always remember to focus on the present.
“The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” Unknown
14. Give up the attachment
This is a concept that is hard to understand for many of us, but not impossible. You get better and better with time and lots of training. The moment you take off all the things, you become so quiet, tolerant, gentle and serene. You will come to a place where you will be able to understand all those things without suffering – A state beyond words.
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.” Simone Weil
15. Give up living your life according to the expectations of others
Too many people live a life that does not belong to them. They live their lives according to what others think is right for them, they live life according to what parents say is best for them, according to what their friends, enemies, and teachers say is right for them..
Sadly, these people ignore their inner voice, the internal call. They are so busy enjoying others that they lose control over their own lives. They long forgot what makes them happy, what they really want and what they truly need, and eventually, they forget who they are… You have only one life; you must LIVE IT and HAVE IT, by not letting other people’s opinions hinder you on your way.
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” Michelle Obama