What if everything you think you know about raising successful children is backwards?
What if the most important decision you make as a parent isn’t which school to choose, which activities to enroll them in, or even how much time you spend with them?
What if there’s ONE factor – discovered over 2,000 years ago by a brilliant Greek mind – that determines your child’s future more than anything else you’ll ever do?
I’m about to share with you Plutarch‘s “Companion Principle” – a piece of ancient wisdom so powerful that it’s been quietly used by influential families for millennia. And here’s the shocking part: most modern parents are not only ignoring this principle, they’re actively working against it.
By the end of this video, you’ll understand why your child’s friends aren’t just playmates – they’re the architects of their destiny. And you’ll discover how to apply this 2,000-year-old strategy in our modern world without becoming the controlling parent every child resents.
But first, let me tell you about Sarah.
The Sarah Story – Modern Cautionary Tale
Sarah was the perfect child. Honor roll student, star athlete, respectful, ambitious. Her parents did everything right – or so they thought.
Then, seemingly overnight, everything changed.
The grades dropped. The attitude shifted. The dreams she’d talked about for years suddenly didn’t matter anymore. Her parents were baffled. What happened to their daughter?
The answer was hiding in plain sight, and it’s the same answer that’s been staring parents in the face for over two thousand years.
Sarah’s companions had changed. And when your companions change, YOU change.
This isn’t opinion. This isn’t feel-good parenting advice. This is documented human psychology that Plutarch understood better than most modern psychologists.
Who Was Plutarch & Why Should You Care?
Plutarch lived from 46 to 119 AD. He wasn’t just some ancient philosopher sitting in an ivory tower. He was a practical man who studied the lives of the greatest leaders, warriors, and thinkers in history. He wanted to understand what made some people extraordinary while others remained ordinary.
And he discovered something that will make your blood run cold.
He found that every single exceptional person – from Alexander the Great to Julius Caesar – had one thing in common. It wasn’t their intelligence. It wasn’t their circumstances. It wasn’t even their natural talents.
It was their companions.
But here’s where it gets disturbing. Plutarch also discovered that every great person who fell from grace, every promising individual who self-destructed, every brilliant mind that was wasted – they ALL had one thing in common too.
Their companions had corrupted them.
This led Plutarch to make a statement so profound that it should be carved into every school entrance, printed on every parenting book, and memorized by every parent who wants their child to succeed:
The mind of a young person is like soft wax – it takes the impression of whatever touches it most frequently.
Do you understand what this means? Your child’s mind is being shaped RIGHT NOW by whoever spends the most time with it. Not you. Not their teachers. Their friends.
The Hidden Psychology Behind Companion Influence
Why are companions so powerful? Why do they often have more influence over your child than you do, even though you’re the parent?
The answer lies in three psychological principles that Plutarch intuitively understood, but modern science has now proven:
First: The Conformity Imperative
Humans are biologically wired to conform to their peer group. It’s a survival mechanism that kept our ancestors alive in tribes. Your child’s brain is literally programmed to adopt the behaviors, values, and beliefs of their social circle.
Think about it: when your teenager comes home speaking differently, dressing differently, or suddenly interested in things they never cared about before – that’s not rebellion. That’s biology.
Second: The Identity Absorption Effect
Your child doesn’t just spend time with their friends – they absorb pieces of their friends’ identities. Every joke their friend makes, every value their friend expresses, every dream their friend shares becomes part of your child’s internal database of “who I could become.”
This is why a studious child can suddenly lose interest in academics after befriending underachievers. This is why a kind child can become cruel after joining the wrong social circle. They’re not choosing to change – they’re unconsciously becoming a composite of their companions.
Third: The Authority Transfer
Here’s the most disturbing part: as children become teenagers, their brain literally transfers authority from parents to peers. The same neurological pathways that once made them seek your approval now make them seek their friends’ approval.
This isn’t disrespect. This is human development. And if you don’t understand this principle, you’ll lose your child to whatever companions they choose.
The Ancient Solution: Strategic Companion Selection
So what did Plutarch recommend? How did ancient Greeks handle this challenge?
They developed what I call “Strategic Companion Selection” – a deliberate, thoughtful approach to curating their children’s social environment.
But here’s what’s brilliant about Plutarch’s approach: he didn’t advocate for isolation or control. He understood that children need companions. The question isn’t WHETHER your child will be influenced by friends – it’s WHO will be doing the influencing.
Plutarch taught that there are three types of companions, and understanding these categories will change how you view every friendship in your child’s life:
The Elevators: These are companions who inspire your child to become better. They have higher standards, bigger dreams, better habits. When your child spends time with Elevators, they come home motivated, inspired, talking about goals and possibilities.
The Mirrors: These companions reflect your child’s current level. They’re not particularly good or bad influences – they maintain the status quo. Your child doesn’t get better or worse; they just stay the same.
The Anchors: These are the dangerous ones. Anchors drag your child down to their level. They normalize mediocrity, make excuses for poor choices, and slowly but surely lower your child’s standards.
Now here’s Plutarch’s shocking revelation: most parents focus all their energy on trying to BE a good influence on their child, while completely ignoring the companions who spend more waking hours with their child than they do.
It’s like trying to fill a bucket while ignoring the massive holes in the bottom.
The Modern Application Crisis
“But wait,” you’re thinking, “this was easier in ancient Greece. I can’t control who my child meets at school. I can’t dictate their friendships without becoming a helicopter parent. Times have changed.”
Have they really?
Or have we just convinced ourselves that we’re powerless in order to avoid the uncomfortable work of applying this principle?
Here’s what most parents don’t realize: you have more control over your child’s companion selection than you think. You just need to stop thinking like a modern parent and start thinking like an ancient strategist.
The Strategic Environment Curation Method
The secret isn’t controlling your child’s friendships directly – it’s strategically curating the environments where friendships form.
Think about it: where does your child meet their closest friends? School, activities, neighborhood, online spaces. Each of these environments attracts certain types of people and repels others.
The Activity Selection Strategy:
Instead of randomly choosing activities based on your child’s momentary interests, choose activities that attract the type of companions you want your child to be influenced by. Want your child around motivated achievers? Competitive academics, leadership programs, entrepreneurship clubs. Want them around creative innovators? Art programs, maker spaces, writing workshops.
The Geographic Positioning Principle:
This sounds harsh, but it’s reality: the neighborhood you live in, the school district you choose, the community centers you frequent – these decisions are companion selection decisions. Wealthy families have understood this for centuries. They don’t just buy houses; they buy social environments.
The Family Network Expansion:
Your child’s companion options are limited by your social network. If you only know families like yours, your child will only meet children like them. Strategic parents deliberately expand their networks to include families with the values and standards they want their children exposed to.
The Digital Curation Revolution:
This is where modern parents have the biggest opportunity. Your child’s online companions – the YouTubers they watch, the social media accounts they follow, the online communities they join – these are companions too. And unlike physical companions, you have significant influence over digital companion selection.
The Warning Signs You’re Missing
How do you know if your child’s current companions are Elevators, Mirrors, or Anchors?
Plutarch gave us specific warning signs that modern parents consistently miss:
Language Degradation: When your child starts using language that’s cruder, more negative, or less sophisticated than before, their companions are programming their communication patterns.
Aspiration Erosion: When your child stops talking about big dreams or starts making excuses for mediocrity, their companions are lowering their standards.
Energy Shifts: When your child comes home drained, negative, or agitated after spending time with certain friends, those companions are Anchors.
Value Confusion: When your child starts questioning family values or expressing beliefs that contradict everything you’ve taught them, their companions are replacing your influence with theirs.
But here are the positive signs that your child has found Elevators:
Inspiration Increase: They come home excited about new ideas, goals, or possibilities.
Standard Elevation: They start holding themselves to higher standards without you asking.
Growth Conversations: They talk about becoming better, learning more, or achieving bigger things.
Positive Energy: They’re more optimistic, more motivated, more confident after spending time with these companions.
The Revelation That Changes Everything
Now I need to share something with you that might make you uncomfortable.
After studying Plutarch’s principle and observing hundreds of families, I’ve discovered something that most parents refuse to acknowledge:
Your child’s companion selection reveals more about YOUR parenting than it does about your child.
Let me explain what I mean.
Children with strong internal compasses, clear values, and high self-esteem naturally gravitate toward Elevators and repel Anchors. They’re attracted to companions who challenge them to grow and bored by companions who try to drag them down.
But children with weak internal foundations, unclear values, or low self-worth become magnets for Anchors. They’re drawn to companions who make them feel better about their own mediocrity.
This means that companion problems are often symptoms of deeper parenting gaps.
If your child is consistently attracted to Anchors, the solution isn’t to control their friendships – it’s to strengthen their internal foundation so they naturally choose better companions.
Building the Companion-Selection Foundation
So how do you build this foundation? How do you raise a child who naturally chooses Elevators over Anchors?
The Standard-Setting Principle: Children who grow up in homes with high standards expect high standards from their companions. If excellence is normal at home, mediocrity feels uncomfortable everywhere else.
The Identity Anchoring Method: Children who have a strong sense of who they are and what they stand for can’t be easily influenced by companions who contradict their identity. But children with weak identity absorb whatever identity their companions project.
The Future-Vision Strategy: Children who have compelling visions of their future are naturally repelled by companions who threaten that future. But children without clear aspirations have nothing to protect themselves against negative influence.
The Value-Discussion Discipline: Families that regularly discuss why certain behaviors, attitudes, and choices align with their values create children who can quickly identify companions whose values conflict with theirs.
The Modern Implementation Guide
“Okay,” you’re thinking, “this makes sense theoretically. But how do I actually apply this in today’s world without becoming the parent my child resents?”
Here’s the strategic approach:
Phase 1: Assessment (Ages 5-10)
Start early by observing which companions naturally elevate your child and which ones don’t. Don’t intervene yet – just gather data.
Phase 2: Environment Curation** (Ages 8-14)
Strategically place your child in environments where they’re likely to meet Elevators. Join clubs, activities, and communities that attract families with similar values.
Phase 3: Influence Without Control** (Ages 12-16)
Instead of forbidding relationships with Anchors, create more attractive opportunities with Elevators. Make your home the place where the good influences want to spend time.
Phase 4: Wisdom Transfer** (Ages 14-18)
Teach your child Plutarch’s principle directly. Help them understand how companion selection works so they can make strategic choices independently.
The Compound Effect of Companion Selection
Here’s what most parents don’t realize: companion selection isn’t just about avoiding bad influences. It’s about creating a compound effect of positive growth.
When your child chooses one Elevator companion, that companion introduces them to other Elevators. Soon, your child is part of a social circle where excellence is normal, growth is expected, and mediocrity is uncomfortable.
This creates what I call the “Elevation Spiral” – each positive companion choice makes the next positive companion choice easier and more natural.
But the opposite is also true. One Anchor companion leads to other Anchors, creating a “Degradation Spiral” where declining standards become normalized.
The companions your child chooses today don’t just affect today – they affect the trajectory of their entire life.
The Long-Term Legacy
Think about the most successful people you know. Think about the most fulfilled, happy, accomplished individuals in your life.
Now think about their closest friends. Notice something?
Successful people surround themselves with other successful people. Happy people have happy friends. Growing people choose growing companions.
This isn’t coincidence. This is Plutarch’s principle in action.
The companions your child learns to choose now will determine the companions they choose as adults. And those adult companions will influence their career, their relationships, their habits, their character, and ultimately, their entire life experience.
When you understand this, companion selection stops being about controlling your child’s social life and starts being about preparing them for a lifetime of wise relationship choices.
The Final Truth
Here’s the truth that Plutarch understood but most modern parents miss:
You can’t protect your child from all negative influences. You can’t control every friendship they form. You can’t guarantee they’ll never encounter Anchors.
But you can give them something far more powerful: the ability to recognize Elevators and the strength to choose them consistently.
You can build their internal compass so strong that they naturally gravitate toward companions who challenge them to grow and naturally repel companions who try to drag them down.
You can teach them that their companions aren’t just friends – they’re co-creators of their destiny.
This is Plutarch’s gift to you: the understanding that raising an extraordinary child isn’t about being an extraordinary parent. It’s about teaching your child to choose extraordinary companions.
Because in the end, we don’t just become like the people we spend time with – we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Make sure your child knows how to choose that average wisely.
The ancient Greeks understood something we’ve forgotten: that the path to greatness isn’t walked alone. But it’s not enough to have companions on the journey – you must choose the right companions.
Your child’s future is being written by their friendships. The question is: are you going to let that story write itself, or are you going to teach your child to be the author?
The choice, like the principle itself, is timeless.