During birth, the father’s role is to support the mother emotionally and physically. He can do this by remaining calm and positive, providing encouragement and reassurance, and helping her to focus on her breathing. He may also need to help her position herself for comfort and optimal fetal positioning. Additionally, the father should be prepared to catch the baby when he or she is born.
DO: Talk About How to Be Supportive Before It’s Time for Labor
Have a plan B (and C). Things rarely go according to plan during labor, so it’s important to be flexible. If your first plan doesn’t work out, don’t panic – just move on to the next one.
5. Take care of yourself, too. It’s easy to get so focused on taking care of your partner during labor that you forget to take care of yourself. But if you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to be there for your partner the way they need you to be. Make sure you’re staying hydrated and taking breaks when you need them.
It’s no secret that labor can be a trying time for both the mother and her partner. The hours of waiting, the contractions, the anxiety – it’s all enough to test even the strongest relationships. That’s why it’s so important to talk about how you can best support each other before labor begins.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you prepare for the big day:
1. Keep things positive. This is probably one of the most important things you can do during labor. No matter how tough things get, try to remain calm and supportive. Negative vibes will only make the situation more difficult for everyone involved.
2. Communicate openly and often. This is key in any relationship, but especially important during labor when emotions are running high. Make sure you’re checking in with your partner regularly to see how they’re doing both physically and emotionally.
3. Be patient (but not too patient). It’s normal for labor to take awhile, but that doesn’t mean you should just sit back and do nothing while your partner is in pain. Be there for them when they need you but don’t hover – give them space when they need it too.
4. Have a plan B (and C). Things rarely go according to plan during labor, so it’s important to be flexible. If your first plan doesn’t work out, don’t panic – just move on to the next one.
5. Take care of yourself, too. It’s easy to get so focused on taking care of your partner during labor that you forget to take care of yourself. But if you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to be there for your partner the way they need you to be. Make sure you’re staying hydrated and taking breaks when you need them.
DON’T: Make Ugly Faces
Ugly faces during childbirth are counterproductive and can add to the pain. Instead, try to make supportive and attractive faces that will help you feel better and focus on the task at hand.
DO: Know Your Limits
You want to be present and helpful during labor, but you also want to be realistic about your capabilities. before the big day comes, ask your partner what she envisions you doing during labor and birth. She may want you to be a calm, silent presence or she may want you to help with specific tasks like applying counter pressure on her back or holding her leg during a contraction.
You also need to know your own limits. If the sight of blood makes you faint, for example, let your partner know ahead of time so she can plan accordingly.
DON’T: Be a Backseat Driver: It’s natural to want to take charge when things are going wrong, but this is not the time for that. Birth is an unpredictable event, and even the most experienced professionals can’t always control everything. The best thing you can do is trust in your partner’s ability to give birth and support her through whatever happens.
If you find yourself getting anxious or frustrated, take some deep breaths and focus on positive thoughts. This is not the time for lectures or criticism-your partner needs your love and support more than anything else right now.
DON’T: Be Visibly Nervous
Your partner is likely already feeling insecure and worried about the birth, and the last thing she needs is for you to be visibly nervous as well. It will only make her feel more anxious.
DON’T: Try to Be the Coach.: You are not the coach, and you should not try to be. This is your partner’s birth, and she should be in charge. You can support her and offer encouragement, but ultimately, she should be making the decisions about how her birth goes.
DON’T: Get in the Way of the Professionals.: If you are at a hospital or birth center, there will be trained professionals present to help with the delivery. Let them do their jobs and don’t get in their way.
DO: Be an Active Participant.: This is your child too, so make sure you are involved in every step of the process. Ask questions, offer support, and bond with your baby from the very beginning.
DO: Be a Good Listener.: Your partner will likely have a lot to say during labor and delivery-about how she’s feeling physically, emotionally, mentally-and it’s important that you listen to everything she has to say. This is not a time for judgement or advice; just listen and support her through whatever she’s going through.
DON’T: Just Tell Them To Breathe Breathe With Them
We’re all familiar with the classic image of a man coaching his partner through childbirth, telling her to “just breathe” in between contractions. But is that really the best thing to do?
It turns out, simply telling a woman to breathe may not be the most helpful thing during labor. In fact, it might even make things worse.
Here’s why: when we’re anxious or in pain, our breathing tends to become shallow and rapid. This only increases our anxiety and makes the pain worse.
So, instead of just telling your partner to breathe, try breathing with her. This will help her stay calm and focused while she’s working through the contractions.